So I have some crazy exciting news that I just want to scream out at every random person I see, but I cannot share until everything is “official” and it’s driving me bonkers. Every time I hang out with friends I just want to say casually “hey guess what?” And unload all my happiness just for the sake of getting it off my chest because no one knows. I have this gift and I want to share it with everybody ugh and the anticipation is killing me. Frankly I just want to brag too. So in five days I can start telling people maybe. I have to wait until next Sunday to tell the important people first and then once all of them know I can share with everyone else. And no I am not pregnant :p
When your boyfriend tells you to start practicing his last name in cursive :)
I haven’t been sleeping well lately, it’s been a few weeks but I’m still upset at how people treat other people in the states. I had a really good friend who I really went out of my way to help out and we grew together. It was so nice to share the things we did but I guess friendship doesn’t mean anything anymore. Even though we gave her a roof and a safe place to stay after coming from a scary family situation she refused to pay her share of utilities for three months, ate all of our food without asking and then skipped out on us the day before rent was due and didn’t feel like paying us rent. After I broke down in fear of losing our apartment ( I have no family to fall back on) and being out on the streets she gave us a check made out for $45 which we couldn’t even use to pay our overdue bills because she made it out to our property management place. Not to mention we still had a day to come up with the close to $400 she did owe us. She had no remorse and said she wasn’t screwing us over. How could she just sit there like it meant nothing to her? We had to go to my boyfriends family to borrow money and work to pay it off. On top of my 10+ work days. I am trying so hard not to complain but I have lost my faith in people. How am I supposed to find real people in this place? Who mean what they say and don’t have alternative motives? I go so far for my friends but they always leave, how horrible of a person must I be if I have no one left in my life?! For people to feel nothing at all when they walk all over me and throw me to the wolves. How bad of a person must I be to be discarded with no hesitation at all. I have failed everyone and I apologize for any wrong I have done to make me worthless.